I FORGOT WHAT THIS WAS LIKE!

Well, I am halfway through week three of my new job. As the title screams, I FORGOT WHAT THIS WAS LIKE!! While I am really liking it and have met some nice people, I feel like the fat kid in gym class (which by the way I always was, so I can get away with saying that). I am never in the right spot, never saying the right thing, and not quite moving fast enough to keep up. Once I think I have the hang of it, I realize perhaps I missed something. If I really think about it, when I started my first job at Hillside it was probably even worse, as I was green, fresh out of school and ready to "save the kids!. But, before long there I was a "go to" person... more seasoned, helping the new "fat kids" find their place.
Now, I am a little more jaded, realistic, and unfortunately- pessimistic. Knowing full well that I will not save the world, but I guess now my hope is to make one difference at a time. What is enough for me now is for one kid to remember something I said or did to help them through a tough day or time- and for them to think of that to help them make better decisions as they face the sure challenges that lie ahead. For one kid to have the sense that they are able, worth it, and special... that will be satisfying to me.
So, hopefully through the red tape and politics I will get that opportunity with a few along the road.
And, in time, all these unfamiliar faces I see everyday will become my norm, they will be familiar and I will feel at home at work, like before. If that does not come to be, I know (as always) a door will open somewhere else.