The thing about clichés... they're usually true.

Cliche- Noun: something that has become overly familiar or commonplace, and therefore loses its meaning.
It's never fun to hear the same thing over and over again, like when you have a newborn who is up and eating every hour and someone says "enjoy this now, they grow up so fast". During those moments, you may think to yourself-"anytime now will be fine. I want to SLEEP". Someone else may say "hug your kids while you can", while one is stuck to your leg and the other is hanging off your neck. In that moment you'd kill for a day to not be touched constantly from morning until night. And of course, there's the "one day you'll miss this", just after you get that mega-tantrum under control that about 30 people just witnessed at Target.
And of course, there's the one, that I actually love- "the days are long, but the years are short"....which hits you hardest the day your baby starts kindergarden. All you can think is "they grow up so fast", or "man, I'm going to miss this".
You take your baby to school (5 is a weird big kid but still a baby mix), walk them to their seat, and desperately want to pull the teacher aside and tell them how special your child is.
I mean,I realize there's 20 great kids, but mine is especially funny, smart, sweet, loving.... don't you think????
But, you know you can't be that parent.
Maybe I'll just throw a detailed note in his bag tomorrow...

Ready to go!

ABC's... not as easy as 1,2,3,...

Did I ever tell you about the time I saw my son Adam licking, yes licking, the shopping cart in Tops? Probably not, because I usually like my blog readers to smile, not barf, when they look at my blog. But, yes, that's one example of some things my son does that help him cope with whatever sensory overload is going on at the moment. My level of fury regarding this incident made me realize something... I was as much a part of this problem. I had the realization that I needed to be more accepting of my child. There is a reason he does his quirky things. The licking, the ears covered for no reason, the meltdowns over food- they are all a part of him. While sometimes it drives me nuts, I need to accept him for who he is and be fair to him. Since I have retrained my thoughts, it's amazing how much more compassionate I am towards him.
That's why I liked this little cute print I saw on etsy.com (cute, if you've never explored it). I found it to be way more useful than any 1,000 page "do it this way" parenting book. Simple, refreshing, and real.

I Ate My Words, But Not My Breakfast

"If you keep it up we're leaving", or "one more time we're going home"... I've said it, you've said it, we're all heard it... and known without a doubt it was an empty threat. It's tough to leave that full cart of groceries, a fun visit with friends, or that cute top that's an extra 40% off the already reduced price, but needs to be tried on first.

Our sunny July morning consisted of two boys in their oversized tee shirts watching Diego, waiting for Grandpy to get her to take us to The Marketside, a great breakfast place nearby. Getting ready is pretty much a science around here. Ten months out of the year we are out the door by 8 am, so we have a pretty good system. Today was status quo, clothes, shoes, wash up, brush teeth.
Today, for some unknown reason, I saw toothpaste bits fly through the air, due to my son flicking his toothbrush teeth. I try to implement my 1-2-3 Magic parenting skills that I usually forget.. .and start with a "that's one", and child friendly explanation for this new behavior. I say "Adam, that's one. Don't do that, that's not how we brush our teeth, you're making a mess".
He looks at me, and does it again. "That's two , one more time and we won't be going to breakfast". Sure enough, again toothpaste splatters. I simply say "that's three..ok, we won't be going".
Enter tears, wails, pleas, promises to follow directions, whys, and even a few comments from my sons 5 year old mouth that enforce my decision even further.
I saw my opportunity. As much as I could taste my pancakes, I needed to take the opportunity to follow through. So I did, and off went the 3 year old with Grandpy for breakfast.
Truth be told: As much as I hated to to it, I felt liberated. I did it. I followed through, stayed strong, and kept my word. I always remember my mom being really good at this part of parenting, if she said it was or was not going to happen, she stuck with it. I learned more from that than any spanking I ever got... bad grades=no ____(enter favorite thing)_____... and that was it...
I think my son was pretty surprised. You had better believe it was an excellent day for him after this...all day he was mindful and making good choices.
So, that oatmeal and fruit I wound up turned out to be not so bad after all...

He Did It!

My sweetheart "got five" as he likes to say. He's been looking forward to this day, well... pretty much since he "got four".
Love, love, love him and all his little funny sayings, faces, and ideas! So proud to be his mom! Hard to believe 5 years ago I was holding him in my hospital bed, without a clue about what was to come.

In front of the "Bob Wall" (aka, Fisher Price Little People)- Adam's tried and true favorite toy ever. Our surprise birthday trip was to East Aurora to see it first hand at the Fisher Price Store.

Quote of the Week

Last night, as we were leaving my sister's house, Adam wanted to take one of his Fisher Price Little People with him in his pocket. Anyone who knows my kids well knows that they call any type of small figurine a "BOB". (I can't remember why.)
So, when we were leaving Adam was wiggling and grabbing, pee pee dance style. I said, "Adam, go potty before we go", and he said
"I don't have to mom, I am just touching my BOB"

Hahahahaha!

What the Big One Is Doing

He's reading his first "sight words" a, and, & to, loving his dad more than life itself, being obsessed with Wii Sports, and making everything "fight", this little boy is just full of life. He's now insisting that I answer his questions with a "that's correct", or "exactly", rather than my usual "yes".
I see him growing into a little boy, with so much independence, yet still being so small.
He's already talking about turning 5... slow down!
There are few things that can bring a parent greater joy than to see their child be compassionate, loving, and just a nice kid.

UNCLE! There, I Said It.

I have been resisting. Trying to stop this. Encouraging my son's Little People to "be friends". Forbidding swords and guns. Shouting "NO FIGHTING" repeatedly....endlessly.

What's hitting me is that I am starting to believe that even if I put my son in a room with Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Martin Luther King, Jr. he would still find a way to make sticks into swords, his hands into guns, and be doing karate moves while trying to kill the enemy.

With sound effects, of course.

And now, I think I am giving in. Originally, I did not accept the "he's a boy, it's what they do" answer. Now, I cannot think of another explanation. It is what it is.

So, here's to what Proverbs 22:6 says "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it"...

Vintage toy gun and slingshot from the 1950's.

Thirty Days Hath September...

It's here, and it came fast.
Time to go back to school/work.

This year is particularly gut wrenching for me. My big boy starts pre-k, full day, 5 days- the real thing. It's through the school district, and even though it's not the first time we will be separated, it's resonating as very bittersweet for me.
From my talks with other moms, I am not alone here.

I mean, he needs a full sized backpack. There's nothing full sized about him.

We attended our first parent meeting, and though I am not a super sappy type I was tearing up left and right. It's the nagging sensation that my babies are not babies anymore.
I have no choice but to let go a little, and let my boy take his first step out into the world.
Yet in letting go, I am thinking, wondering...

"Will he make friends easily, or be shy?"

"Will he remember not to pick his nose?"

"Will he stay as excited about learning as he his now?"

"Will his potty aim improve?"

"Will his teacher see just how special he is?"

During the baby stage, there were times where I felt like it would last forever. Now, what others say about the time going so fast and taking time to enjoy them is ringing in my ears, along with Keith Urban singing "as days go by, I can feel them flying like a hand out the window in the wind..."

Adam-isms

My soon-to-be four year old says some funny things I just don't want to forget, but know I will if I don't document them! Here a sampling of his most recent thoughts

- While on the computer with my sister, he sees a picture of her heavily tattooed friend. He says "that boy must be really good at going on the potty". (he was rewarded with tattoos during his potty training, fyi).

- While doing some flash card type things with my mom, she shows him a card with jelly on it. My mom says "and how do you spell jelly?", to which Adam replies "J-E-ELEVEN-Y"

- His craft this week was a seedling they had planted at school. It began to grow and we took it home. I was trying to see if he knew what the plant was- like tomatoes or green beans or something... Adam says "it will grow hot dogs and corn with the cob on it", his favorite meal.

-While watching American Idol, we discuss Crystal's harmonica. A few minutes later, it's clear he's still thinking about this and he says "A harmonica is a musical instrument, but a Monica is a person" (admittedly, I have Friends on a lot).

A Job Nothing Can Prepare You For- Happy Mother's Day!

Being a mom is something I always wanted. Even as a kid, I knew motherhood was in my cards in one way or another. One thing I did not anticipate: IT"S HARD! Hard in a fulfilling and welcoming kind of way.... but hard.
I have not read this yet, but the title "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids" by Trisha Ashworth always elicits a chuckle for me. In my first 3 years of foster care work, I was a case manager working with seasoned foster parents and usually mothers of their own grown children. I would work with them on behavior management and how to handle the parenting woes of kids in foster care. I was "well trained" in Common Sense Parenting and MAPP Foster Care Curriculum, and had a practical parenting tip for all situations. I would be empathetic to their needs, in a very textbook kind of way. I wish I could go back and give "young me" some advice- to not give advice. There is truly no way to know what it's like until you've been there. For me, I am sure the foster parents appreciated me trying hard, but really... there is no textbook for this job!
Here is me four years ago:
- if they won't sleep, let them cry it out
- if you say no stick to it no matter what
- kids don't get to ask "why" when told to do something
- no spanking
- no junk food!

Here is me 2 kids later:
- 2 kids in our bed just about every night at one point or another , lots of cuddling. I never had the will to let them cry it out. I'm not ashamed or sorry about this one!
- Trying hard to stick to what I say, but knowing my kids well enough to know when they are exhausted or not feeling well and need compassion not stern discipline.
- Actually enjoying explaining "why" questions because of the adorableness of the curiosity behind it
- A little spank on the behind never hurt anyone!
- Mostly fruit, veggies and lean meats, but treats are commonplace around here!

And, I love it.

Exactly What I Needed

A few weeks ago I just had this feeling that I needed a friend. But, not just any friend... my "BFF" Tara. We must have been on the same wavelength because after a series of text messages (the preferred communication method between busy moms these days), or trip was planned. We got Adam all pumped to see his Selah Grace, and made the trek to Utica, NY for some relaxation. Now, mind you, relaxation is a different thing with 4 kids under 4 in one house, but we make the most of it! Let's just say that this was exactly what I needed. Several (many) cups of coffee, conversations that were (semi) able to be completed, seeing the kids play (fight), and some after-the-kids-were-in-bed reminiscing (bantering) about old times with Tara and her husband.... perfect (missed).

I also take this opportunity to give an excerpt of 3 year old conversation:
Selah: Adam, dance with me!
Adam: No thanks
Selah: Please Adam?
Adam: I no dance
Selah: But I'm a princess (lip quivering)
(both moms crack up)


So, here are some highlights... the camera got a little neglected this time.

I gave up getting them to "say cheese"

Seriously gorgeous. My future daughter-in-law (crossed fingers)

Adam attempts a smooch

Sunday Sentiment

While I am not a professional photographer by any stretch of the imagination, every now and then I capture a lucky moment that melts me. Here is one I got the other day.
This is my best friends' son JJ and my son Adam.
JJ is very special to me.
Our two baby boys... neither a baby anymore but both of them are forever our first look/taste/smell of the joy and anticipation of motherhood... captured here as true boys.

Am I Out of Ideas?

I feel I have reached a bit of a writers block...

Work has been stressful

The house has been messy

The kids have been handfuls

We have been busy!!


I have not been shopping much, I have not been Internet surfing much, frankly I have been in a bit of a funk....



I am currently reading



On Strike for Christmas
by Sheila Roberts (review to follow)












Self Magazine, November 2009 (p.s. - magazines at Sam's Club are 30% off or more everyday...)















I am currently loving





Aquaphor (lip saver, dry skin healer, little bum soother + more...)










Revlon Colorstay Liquid Liner in Bronzed Brown











Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle Bars












70 degree November days that involve using the hose...











I am currently laughing at:


Zachary's hair











Adam response when asked "what do you want to be when you grow up".... "Um, Adam Vinkle" (so far I have no doubt in my mind that my son will always be who he is...)

Heigh Ho!

We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in our mine the
whole day through....In a mine! In a mine! In a mine! In a mine!
Where a million diamonds shine! Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It's home from work we go..
[Whistle]

That's the song that's been buzzing around our house the last week or two (and, frankly, plaguing our minds at work and in public). Adam has a new love- Snow White. We have been trying to convince him that the Dwarves are cool too, which he has bought, for the most part. He loves to sing and march to "heigh ho"... we love to laugh as he squeaks the whistle part and makes everyone follow him around the living room with drumsticks in place of pick axes. Even Zachary has been chiming in with his version... "hi-oh-hi-oh"

Here is the best version of the video I could get... as soon as you start videoing a 3 year old they get distracted... Listen closely though and you will hear Adam's version of a whistle, which in my opinion is the highlight.

Calling All Movers!

Wobble Goggles? Scribble Sticks? Idea Emergencies?
Rich, Scott, Dave, Smitty....

This might sound strange to you, but to us these are everyday household terms. Our son Adam loves the Imagination Movers, a kids show on Disney that is gaining popularity for its high energy, musical problem solving methods.

I like it because it does not annoy me.

We were fortunate enough to be able to take him to the live showing. The look on his face when he saw them come out LIVE, IN REAL LIFE sort of brought a tear to my eye. He was mesmerized the entire time. Not jumping around like all the other kids, but watching, enjoying, and taking it all in... being true to himself as an observer (and bopping a little bit here and there).

We enjoyed some one on one time with our little Paul... er... Adam.

Haircut

Oh my! It's short!

Knock on Wood

Well...

It's official....

No more padded bootie to hold those pants up on that skinny little guy...

Adam is potty trained! We have been close.... sooooo close for so long, but I feel it's finally safe to say (knock on wood). He is so proud!
And, well for us, let's just say that viewing poopy and pee-pee in the potty and getting super excited is a daily part of our life.

(As is getting bossed by a 3-year old saying "Look! Poop!" incessantly until we oblige).

Notice the cool soccer undies!


He's kind of a big deal!

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

So, it all started when I explained to my son Adam that inside my cousin April's belly was not a ball, but a baby. (But, we've gotta give him some credit, look at that perfect belly --->).

So, a day or two later, while lying down with him for bed, I see him look curiously and then hear:

Adam: "Mommy, you got baseballs?"
Me: "No, honey" (trying hard not to laugh, and somewhat mortified too)
Adam "Um , Mommy... you got babies?"
Me: "No Adam, it's just part of my body"
Adam: "Mmmm, looks like baseballs"

I'm not ready for this.
For now, we'll just leave it as is.

Any Dream Will Do...

A last minute idea led to my mom, my cousin Marisa, Adam and I going to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat today. It was great. A nice treat! I was amazed as Adam sat there, on the edge of his seat, glued to the singing and music the whole time. The kid is a lover of music, it's just in him. And, given the fact that the show was at 2pm- nap time- he did wonderful (although at one point he said "I'm tired, I go to bed now").
I have to say, the show was fantastic, but the highlight was my little man's (complete with collared shirt and combed hair) face full of wonder and delight at this new expirence. Afterward, he said "I liked Joseph"... too cute! The little old ladies were swooning...

Quote of the Day

Adam has a children's Bible that he likes to bring along occasionally in the car, to my mom's etc...
Though he calls Noah, Moses, Joseph, and all others Jesus, he knows Jesus is pretty special.

So, I ask him the other day
"Adam, where does Jesus live"

He says (finger on the chin) "Well, umm.... let's see. On the Savannah?"


Thank you Baby Einstein World Animals.

And, thank you Jesus for living in my son's heart.