Flash back about 2 years. I had a pre-k'er and a two year old. I was probably a lot harder on the big one than I needed to be, in retrospect. When I found out that he defiantly unstuffed his rest time bear and played in the bathroom sink with sudsy water at school, rounded off with a a smart remark to his sweet teacher, you better believe this mom was not happy.
I proceeded, unreasonably, to take everything he loved from him and "ground him" forever when I saw that note in his bag. (today, I am glad I kept the note. It's actually kind of funny)
At that time, the prospect of losing his video games was what sent him into a legend..(wait for it)..ary tantrum of epic proportions. Not that I hadn't noticed before, but this boy, who was allowed no more than 30 minutes of game time daily was obsessed. Disengaged. Living inside his own electronically based world. His focus only was on when, where, and how he could play next. When it clicked that reading, time with family, being outside, and even his favorite toys couldn't hold a candle to Wii Party or Wii Sports, it was time to make a change. Without the games, I kid you not, we had a different child.
I've never been against video games. In fact, I strongly believe that if you put a 1991 Nintendo game controller in my hand I could annihilate anyone in any Mario game (yes I did). While I don't totally get why people (guys) like them so much, it's not something I feel adamantly against. Based on what we saw, we decided to make the no video game rule permanent.
But, the problem was we felt we had taken away something that he loved and enjoyed. The kid who (aside from that one time...) tries his hardest, is thoughtful, kind, and obedient- was that fair? We decided it wasn't necessary to do an "all or nothing" scenario.
Enter "video game Saturday." It's been an event in our house now for maybe a year and a half. The rules were made clear- throughout the week their bedroom is picked up, we treat each other kindly, dinner is eaten and... drumroll... bedtime is struggle-free- and Saturday from wake up until it's time to do whatever is in our plans is their time to play (we've occasionally made exceptions for friend sleepovers, trips to grandma and grandpa's, school holiday's etc). Currently it's Lego Batman and Skylander Giants.
Here's the thing: It's become a non-issue. The boys wouldn't think of asking on a Tuesday night to play. They wouldn't look at me with sad eyes thinking I'll give in. They wouldn't beg or cry or tantrum. It's just not a part of our week. But Tuesday night, if someone is fooling around at bedtime, all I have to give is a slight threat, and they're in bed settling down fast. And guess what? It works.
Saturday morning in our house consists of the kids hurrying downstairs (sometimes earlier than I'd like but they could care less if I am there {finally!!}), grabbing the controllers and getting lost in their little world for a while. They talk back and forth, navigating boards and finding heroes and villains, selecting characters, beating boards.
It's a win/win.
It allows them some fun. Me some leverage. Them skills to make good choices. Me the option to lay on the couch Saturday morning. Them some understanding of limits. Me the accomplishment of setting limits and sticking to them (not my strong suit).
1 comment:
Some of us still have to get up and help them play their games. Not saying who though.
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