A Comforting Tongue

A comforting tongue is a tree of life, but a twisted tongue is a crushing of the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
To preface, I was a HIGHLY sensitive child. So much so that I would "tape" (yes, that's what we did before DVR's) commercials from the Christian Children's Fund of the poor African children, distended bellies and sunken in faces, and gather my parents in front of the TV and beg them to help. I mean c'mon, it was just 79 cents a day!!
This blog will be hard to write, because some of the feelings behind it are hard to explain. But, I will do my best.
Tonight, as some words I wish did not escape my lips were said, I was reminded of a commitment I made when Adam was born. I vowed not to ever crush his spirit. To allow him to be free to be himself, never rejected, at ease with who he is, unbroken...
When Zachary was born, I remembered this for him as well. I remember times as a kid being so hurt by words. I was chubby, insecure, and sort of awkward. My parents, teachers, peers never meant to hurt... I have a sensitive spirit, and believe my boys do to. I have toughened up significantly since those days, but still tend to get easily hurt. So, at times when I am frustrated, irritated, or just being human, I want to choose my words, and explain my purpose. I want to discipline effectively, get my point across, but not crush their spirits. I never want them to walk away from me, lip trembling, hurt deeply by an angry word. Some schools of thought take on the "you're the parent, they're the child" philosophy, or the "they don't need an explanation, just tell them what to do" idea... all those are fine for some, but like I said, I see in my boys' eyes me as a child, and I want them to always feel joy and security. I want the praise that I give them to lift their spirit. I have two distinctly different little boys who are going to need a unique approach.
Will I screw up? Yes, I have and am sure will again.
But,I want them to always know that while they have imperfections, that in their Heavenly Father's eyes, and ours, they are as intended. So, Lord help me to meet their needs and prepare them to be men who are sensitive, confident, and without a doubt loved and supported.