Pineapples Don't Have Sleeves

I'm not going to lie. I struggle with kindercompetetion.
Yes, I just made up a word. One up.
See, I've noticed that with moms, get in a room together and the conversation usually turns to the kids in 4.2 seconds.  That's well and good, the kids are our common ground. Our love for them is apparent in each exchange. At times, these friendships blossom into blessings we'd never have found otherwise.
When my kids were babies, it was more along the lines of "George rolled over! He's only 2 months. How old was Adam when he rolled over?"  This was followed with a sympathetic nod when learning that he actually rolled over at at 2.5 months.  Prompting me to say, "well, he sat up at 4 months, he just wanted to see everything!"  Everyone laughs, nods, thinks of the things their kids did first to feel part of the club. I don't believe this is intentional.  It's just a grown up version of the same insecurity many struggled with in high school.  And I'm not judging. I have it too. Then, I wanted to shop at the best stores and be great at something.  Now, I want my kids to be exceptional at something.  Who doesn't? Sense of belonging is almost a basic need.
And little did I know then that it doesn't get better. It gets worse. It's "who is saying more words", to "who wrote their own name on a line", to "who is reading at level 2B", to "who got into merit".  And I don't want to care about these things. But I do. All what I want to care about is that my child is growing, learning, and being the best they can be.  Not that they're better at something than George.
Having worked in public education, it's not hard to see why this is.  The kindergarden standards border on ridiculous.  Full day with full sets of high standards, a long front and back report card that I scrutinize and still am not sure what it's telling me, complete with my son coming home talking about trapezoids and skip counting.  And this is year one.  While I'm highly impressed and proud, I distinctly remember playing dolls and napping in my kindergarten class. And here I am, alive to tell about it. I've seen the best of the best teachers have to leave a teachable moment, a life lesson, at the door in order to "teach to the test".  I've seen the students first hand clutching their number two pencils with terror in their eyes.  Eight year olds. 
We're getting to the pineapple, I swear.
So, this week as the teachers post on Facebook, the newspapers have articles about the excessive NYS standardized testing (<--click), and parents send their kids off to the dreaded day, I look down the road.  I see the table of moms in three short years, talking about George who got a 4 on the math, but hanging her head when she tells he only got a 3 on the language arts.  I see the slight smile of the mom whose child got perfect scores as she tells the humiliated mom whose child only got 2's "it's ok, he's such a great kid". She feels she has to explain that that Fred was so anxious that he only got to question 36 out of 75 before the time was up.
I don't want to do it. And I don't think I will. I will opt to keep my children home on State testing days (not for tests, I'm all for tests. Just the State ones).  We will eat ice cream. Read books. And I'll be reminded of how great they are not based on their test score, but simply how great they are. I'm sure I'll be scolded and reprimanded by teachers and administrators, and I will do my best to stand my ground.  I will explain to my children why our choice is as it is, and ensure that a sense of working hard is not lost on them. If the state feels they should be at these standards academically, I'm sure they're capable of understanding my rationale, and why this is the "best answer" for our family.
Read this article  (<---click) a specific and recycled question on some of the state testing this year. You'll discover shockingly that not only do pineapples not have sleeves, but they also do not talk.   My level of anger shot up in reading this for a number of reasons.  First off, I've seen the level of preparation that goes into these exams for students and teachers. The level of stress and the day to day planning to meet a standard makes school anything but fun. I've seen kids of all ages simply not care about the test or be too overwhelmed to think about it.  I've administered the tests to special education students who need it read to them, and been left scratching my head a little bit, and I'm an educated adult who reads for fun.
Then, to read the absurdist literature (which I can appreciate, at the right time) and to picture 13 year olds taking this seriously after all the hard work and preparation was not only ignorant and unfair, but patronizing.  Then, the results of the test affect their promotion to the next grade, and now the teachers jobs.  And in all of this, sometimes the test makers can't even get it right. (<---click)
There's so much more than this question driving my feelings.  I never could see how you could put an underprivileged child, with no parental support and resources- maybe not even a book in the house- at the same table as a child like mine our yours and expect them to do the same thing. That's supported here (<---click) and this article also contains some great additional information.
Or, take a child like mine who can do math like nobodies business but reading is a battle. Now they' re in a situation where their self esteem can be trashed because they have strengths elsewhere. I'm not going to let a financially based  (<--click) testing system determine my child's self worth. Or mine as a parent.
What do you think?

Read more :
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/21/nyregion/standardized-testing-is-blamed-for-question-about-a-sleeveless-pineapple.html

http://online.wsj.com/article/AP7aa2b277dfd54681a6b62ef33ebd8c14.html

http://www.alternet.org/story/153654/standardized_tests_hurt_kids_and_public_schools%3A_teachers,_parents_take_a_stand_against_corporate-backed_test_regime?page=entire