I stopped.

I write this for other moms like me, Type B personalities who try to be Type A at times, and fail miserably.  Guess what- it's okay... Here's a few changes I've made to focus less on what I'm not good at, and more on what I am doing well.
I stopped reading things like this on a regular basis

And using this

And obsessing over this

Among other things. And it's not because I think there's anything wrong with enjoying a nice magazine, a site full of creative ideas, and having a sparking house. In fact, I love those things.  I just can't quite pull what these things promote.  I am the kind of person who is good at what I am good at- and these things do not include being organized, crafty, and perfectly neat.  I have moments where I do okay.  My house is lived in, certainly not dirty but could use a bit more organization and cleaning. My winter clothes get packed up in May. My bags unpacked a few days later than they should.  My mail sits a while before being put in the right spot. 

When I spend time reading things about simple ways to make things "perfect", cute crafts to do with the kids, and tips for an organized home I feel worse, not better.  And, I think those that really are cut out for that stuff would wind up feeling good, excited, rejuvenated, and accomplished, not sub par and frustrated when completing those things. I really think it's based on personality, what your interests are, and not one being better than another.  We're all different, gifted in our own areas, sharing our talents in a multitude of ways. 

So, around the time of my epic fail on my sons  Pintrest pilgrim hat Thanksgiving party treat seen below, I truly asked myself "why am I doing this?".  Why am I making myself be something I am not? Who am I trying to impress?  Does it make me a better mom or person to have edible themed treats for my child's class? No. Not in any way. 

And,  let's face it- when I need to get myself and two kids completely ready and out the door by 8 am everyday, the reality is I am applying mascara in the car at the bus stop crossing my fingers that I don't sneeze- not following a step by step guide to the perfect face that I pinned yesterday.  Do I enjoy an article with some useful tips to make life easier- yes of course.  Who doesn't? 

But when it leaves you doubting your adequacy it's time to make a change. 

And cleaning. I would love to have a sparking house. Love. But, I do what I can, when I can, keep picked up, presentable, have the kids do their chores, and thank heavens for my Dustbuster and helpful husband who does more than his share.  All I can do is hope that if someone is coming by they'll give me 20 minutes an hour notice.  My corners are dusty, and I couldn't tell you what my baseboards look like.  My laundry is often folded in baskets, not drawers. My counters have stuff on them. I am a full time mom with a full time job outside the home as well. 

I want to stress- I am not knocking any of these things or anybody who enjoys these things.  I enjoy them too, but like I said- often feel like I am lacking something when I use them and think of all the things I don't do.  I have moments when I envy the perfectly decorated and cleaned home, the cool ways of doing things that I would never think of.  We're all different.  I know I have days at work where  someone else might completely crumple at the circumstances I see, and for some reason I don't. I have heard others say to me "I could never do what you do", and I can't answer how I can see children daily in unfortunate situations and be okay at night.  My guess would be as I said above, we're all given gifts and talents by God (1Peter 4:10) that we use in many areas. 

But I have spent a significant amount of time feeling not good enough, not perfect enough, and exhausting myself to please..who? My family loves me.  My friends love me.  My worth isn't based on these things, and yours shouldn't be either. 

Fail- Pintrest on the left... mine on the right :)